Cartagena is looking mighty good this time of year. Don’t you think? Meanwhile, from Italy, Spain, Portugal and Greece to Germany, Belgium, France and the UK, disaffection with austerity continues to grow. Just this week, the old, the young, and the restless, came out in support of Euro-wide protests. And while many Americans think they may have dodged a bullet with the Romney defeat, threat of the “fiscal cliff” (a.k.a. another financial clusterfuck) is staring us in the face. And with his knee-jerk-liberal ingratiating tactics, O-drama may make cannon fodder of us yet. So what should occupy our thoughts today, the Grand Betrayal… or the Grand Petraeus. Or is that another matter alogether? Perhaps – but perhaps not! Is it not surprising how controversy over the Petraeus betrayal splashed suddenly across our flat screens just minutes before discussion of the grand betrayal (Obama bargaining to avoid a fiscal cliff) was getting its legs?
It seems that after Sandy’s rough landing in late October, Petraeus has become our early November surprise… dessert for those still hungry for more distraction and obfuscation. We know that O-drama is hankering to make a grand bargain with the devil himself – the dark souled John Boehner: new taxes on the wealthy, at the cost of reducing spending on diverse elements of the body-politics’ safety net. What a better way to confuse and distract us than by thrusting the good cub scout-faced Petraeus into the limelight fully-exposed, his mistress and the twins on news highlight reels, and his less-than-appealing but enraged wife circling the wagons. Boy, those military guys sure get all the breaks, don’t they?
So, let’s see. If, in addition to his short-chunky wife, Petraeus betrayed (the ubiquitous) “us” by sharing top-secret docs with the well-bred, well-developed, and evidently broad-minded Ms. Broadwell, then perhaps he should be tried for treason just as they are doing to the Private Bradley Manning. But, of course, that could never happen. Plebs are plebs… while kings rule the roost. And, whatever else he is, Petraeus is a king, if not a fallen god. The Uniform(ed) Code of Military Justice; it never fails those with more stars and stripes on their uniforms. Hierarchy reigns supreme. In any event, it certainly appears that Petraeus could have had much more fun, and certainly more bang for his buck, fucking around with the twins – Jill and Natalie. And who knows, Natalie (Natalia) could be Natasha; there may even be some Russian spy connection here. Wow! Wouldn’t that be a wild liaison? What the fuck would we do with the good general/former director of the CIA then? Put him in front of a firing squad? Better yet, put him in charge of O-drama’s Secret Service detail, the same detail that worked Cartagena so well last year: we can even designate that post with the nice simple acronym, P-O-T-U-S-P-I-M-P. Master of securing female liaisons. Gee! I wonder if this can develop more traction than the Sandusky-Paterno affair. We can call it, with broad brushstrokes, the Allen-Petraeus fiasco!! We just love melodrama… As the world turns, anyone?
In all seriousness folks, the French and the Italians are laughing at us: think Sarkozy and Berlusconi. Angela Merkel may be peeved, but she has her own clusterfuck to handle, with Germany acting as bail-bondsman for the aforementioned beleagured Euro-states. And just when you thought things couldn’t get any more fucked-up, just wait and see how the Rupug-licans will come after O-drama now. Why, even John McCain was throwing darts across the bough on the weekly news shows. Now the Libyan Consulate deal is going to receive even further scrutiny in light of the CIA Director’s distraction with Paula and the twins. But, I think before he resigned, the good general should have sought out the wise and well-lubricated counsel of Billy-Boy Jefferson Clinton. Don’t ya think? After all, personal experience is key to guidance offered by tribal elders. But, at least Billy didn’t have a cat-fight going on behind his back. He was more than capable of exposing himself in the Monica Lewinsky affair. Ahhh! Don’t you just love historical memory.
But here, no memory is necessary… we have all of perhaps 30,000 emails that tie the randy Generals rather intimately to Jill and the gang. Talk about a clusterfuck! LOL! Perhaps a broader question might be, what unique influence do two apparently Lebanese sisters have upon the US Military and the CIA? Netanyahoo might shit his pants at this scenario; all the while Israel itself is launching new airstrikes into the Gaza Strip. Well, things are really heatin’ up in the pasture now; soon mother nature will give us another buck, while the various pieces of our paper-mache’d world cuntinue tumblin’ on down: climate change, resource depletion, financial cliffs, mass revolts, imperial wars, homelessness, hopelessness… threats of secession by all fifty states, and perhaps pending insurrection. It’s a wonderful world, folks!
Apparently, sexy women are just as dangerous as are powerful men, and they seem to attract one another. But sexy and powerful women are two times as dangerous, and they invariably create the conditions for a very fatal attraction. Even the Secret Service and the CIA cannot keep the lid on such things. And what better way to keep us entertained or distracted then to spread the melodrama gleefully throughout the news media, day in and day out. Good luck generals! Perhaps Lebanon or the Gaza Strip might be a better bet and a safer place right about now. Or, maybe Cartagena, Columbia! And make sure to bring a Secret Service detail along for proper protection.